A lot of people are disengaged at work. The data backs this up. And during the pandemic, over 40% of the global workforce was thinking about quitting their jobs, and 25 million people did. Were people finally leaving the conventional path to seek deeper satisfaction and meaning elsewhere?

It appears not.

Of the “Great Resignation” the Atlantic’s Derek Thompson writes: “the elevated quit rate is largely the result of workers swapping employers to make more money. For this reason, we probably shouldn’t even call it the Great Resignation. It’s more like the Great Job Switcheroo.”

Why?

Conformity bias may have something to do with it.

In this post, I’ll look at how conformity bias works, and how it can leave us miserable.

Conformity bias: what is it?

Conformity bias, or groupthink as it’s more commonly known, is a phenomenon in which we take our behavioral cues from those around us, irrespective of our own beliefs and values.

If you’ve spent any time on Linkedin, you’ve probably come across profiles with taglines along the lines of:

“Harvard, Forbes 40 under 40, ex-White House”

These resume flexes are impressive. Those are all highly competitive credentials to attain. But squint through those blindingly impressive achievements, and you’ll see that the tagline doesn’t tell you things like: is this person happy? Are they healthy? Do they feel engaged?

The problem is that many of us measure ourselves against socially accepted metrics of success: how prestigious was the college we attended? What name-brand companies have we worked for? What fellowships or accolades can we flaunt?

None of these factors in well-being, fulfillment, or purpose.

When we grade ourselves based on society’s definition of success, we’re implicitly putting our personal measures of success in the passenger seat.

Conformity bias & college admissions

This phenomenon is rampant in the college admissions process. Matriculation to a four-year college is held up as the only acceptable option following high school. Alternative pathways are stigmatized, and selecting one, even if it’s better suited to our circumstances, preferences, or passions, makes you a failure.

Not only are we expected to attend a four-year college, but we’re also expected to attend the “best” college that will have us, typically determined by the institution’s U.S. News and World Report ranking. This ignores the fact that rankings are disconnected from career outcomes, may not be aligned with our ideal learning environment, and are arguably a huge scam. For many people, the brand name is all that matters.

The same pattern applies to careers.

Don’t get me wrong. Following this path is great for a lot of people, and not without its benefits.

However, if the data about job engagement is any indicator, it’s not so great for helping us find happiness, fulfillment, and purpose. You know, the kind of things that make life feel worthwhile.

What’s so bad about following the pack?

Conformity bias can cause problems because it enables groups to come to a consensus without thinking critically. This kicks off a self-reinforcing cycle in which the appearance of consensus creates an illusion that everyone agrees with something that they may not agree with at all. The pressure to conform, however, keeps anyone from speaking up. This reinforces the illusion.

Sydney Lumet’s classic film “12 Angry Men” is a great example of conformity bias in action.

A jury retires to deliberate on the verdict of a man accused of murder. They start by going around the table. Juror after juror says they think the defendant is guilty. Finally, after eleven jurors have declared their support for conviction, juror #12 hesitates. He’s not so sure, he says, and he thinks they ought to talk it over before condemning a man to death or a lifetime in prison.

Over the next hour and a half of debate and discussion, it turns out that the majority of the jurors harbor doubts and reservations about the case. One by one, they change their votes.

The jury at the outset of the deliberation is a textbook example of conformity bias. Each of the jurors made a false assumption about what the others were thinking. “They all are saying he’s guilty, so I’ll just say he’s guilty, too, and get on with it.” Only the courage of a lone juror prompted them to think critically and come to a true, hard-fought consensus.

Conformity bias is deep-rooted

Conformity bias is rooted in our DNA. We are a tribal species, and being removed from the group often meant death for our ancestors. While this is no longer true, our brains still run on savanna-era software developed 100,000 years ago.

Resisting the pressure of the group is extremely difficult. Scientists have found that when we deviate from the group, our brain sends out an error signal. It’s the neurological equivalent of a blaring siren: wrong way! Turn around!

Conformity bias isn’t always bad. You could argue that it is what enables humans to buy into the collective narratives that enable us to work together and trust one another at scales that no other species is capable of.

But we would do well to remember that just because everyone thinks something… or seems to think something… doesn’t mean it’s right. We often determine what the consensus is by listening to what the loudest voices are saying.

In our media environment, it’s easy to see how this bias wrecks havoc on our ability to accurately perceive what others are thinking and feeling.

The danger is that, even though we may not agree with the consensus, we tend to go along with it. Just like the jurors in 12 Angry Men. And before long, we may be acceding to views that are unaligned with our values.

Conformity bias and success

What does this all have to do with job satisfaction?

Conformity bias is a powerful, often hidden, force in our lives that influences our biggest decisions. It’s great at helping us attain social acceptance, but it’s lousy at helping us pick pathways that will engage us, fulfill us, and give us meaning.

We have to define success on our terms.

We have to stop basing success on prestige, which, as journalist Amanda Taub writes, is “just a generalized average of other people’s priorities… You will spend 40 hours (or more!) a week on your job until you retire,” she writes. “Make decisions to maximize your happiness during that time, not the much smaller amount of time you will spend impressing people with your career at cocktail parties.”

The same is true for any other decision in your life. Unfortunately, we live in an environment in which we’re surrounded by examples of other people crushing it (or at least making it look like they are).

As hard as it is, you should ignore the pressure to conform, the voice that says, “so when you are going to have something impressive to post about?”

Playing this comparison game will only make you miserable.

Tips for defining success on your terms

Here are some principles to keep in mind to define success on your own terms.

#1. Ignore the destination

When we fixate on the outcome, it takes the focus off of what we can control. And in many cases, the outcomes of our endeavors are largely out of our control.

Also, remember that people who are successful on their own terms don’t start out knowing they will be successful. In most cases, they also didn’t start with prodigious talent. Willingness to explore, try things, and figure out where they were going to thrive enabled them to achieve at a high level.

#2. Focus on yourself; don’t compare

Don’t compare. Focus on being the best version of yourself.

The “greats” define success on their own terms. Michael Jordan never set out to be the next Wilt Chamberlin. He only ever wanted to be the best Michael Jordan.

#3. Get off the beaten path

This society we live in is built upon standardized systems and institutions that don’t take into account your individuality.

We’ve collectively determined what is “good” and “bad” within that system.

If you’re benchmarking your success off of these socially accepted definitions, you’re probably working within that system. You might find happiness there, and I’m not saying you won’t. But I don’t think most of us will. The system is not set up for that.

Chances are, you’re going to need to get off the beaten path.

#4: Get comfortable searching

You’re probably not going to find “it” right away. You need to get comfortable searching. It’s going to be trial and error. Try things, learn, and iterate. Over time, you’ll get closer and closer.