Setting realistic goals is one of the most important skills you can learn and master.

But often we set unrealistic goals and set ourselves up to fail. Here’s how it usually goes.

We experience a moment of inspiration. Maybe it’s a conference we attended, seeing a friend accomplish something awesome, or a mind-blowing book. We get excited about our big goal. We can see it and feel it. We’re ready to go!

But when it’s time to start, we procrastinate. We make excuses. We feel anxious, and slowly, bit by bit, we begin to scale back our ambitions or even throw away our goal altogether.

In this post, I’ll tell you why setting realistic goals is important, how they can help you achieve your big goals, and how to get started.

My Experience with Realistic Goals

A few years ago I decided I was going to write a book. I’d just taken an amazing writers workshop and I was fired up and ready to go.

I wrote my goal down and pinned it to the bulletin board on my wall.

Except a funny thing kept happening whenever I sat down to write. As my fingers hovered above the keyboard, ready to type out literary gold, I’d think of something else I should do. Something that felt really important, and oddly appealing.

Like doing the dishes.

Writing can wait for a minute, I’d say. Having a clean kitchen will feel good. And that will motivate me to write later. Weird logic, I know. I’d do the dishes, which would lead to something else, which led to yet another thing, and before I knew it the day would be over and I hadn’t written a thing.

This is what happens when we set unrealistic goals.

Setting Ambitious Goals

I am not here to pour cold water on your ambitious goals. On the contrary, I think it’s essential to set big goals that challenge us to strive and do things that we never thought we could.

But setting ambitious goals without setting shorter and medium-term realistic goals to help you get there is a recipe for failure.

Why?

It all comes down to dopamine and momentum.

You’ve probably heard of dopamine. It’s a neurotransmitter that powers your brain’s reward center and helps create the experience of pleasure. Dopamine is an important ingredient in achieving goals.

We’re wired to feel excited when we achieve a goal. When we accomplish something, our brain creates dopamine. We feel good, and we’re motivated to keep going. This is where momentum comes into play.

As we knock out goal after goal, we start to build momentum. Neurologically, we’re lighting up our brain’s reward center again and again. Our progress begins to build on itself, and before long, we’ve achieved lift-off.

When we set a big, ambitious goal without any realistic goals to support it, we make it very difficult to create momentum.

The big win that you’re after is going to take a while. It will require sustained effort over time. If a big long-term goal is all that you’re focused on then your brain will be starved of dopamine, and you’ll be more likely to give up.

It’s like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro without planning out any basecamps to stop at along the way.

Three kinds of goals: Big goals, realistic goals, and daily goals

Consider three types of goals.

1. Big goals, also known as Big Hairy Audacious Goals, or BHAGs for short. These are your whoppers. Your mountaintops. For me, it was writing a book. For you, it might be earning a promotion, or losing 100 lbs.
2. Realistic medium-term goals, which I think of as milestone goals. They are all the basecamps that you’re going to reach and rest at on your way to the summit.
3. Daily goals. These are the daily inputs that are going to enable you to achieve your medium-term goals.

Setting your BHAGs, realistic goals, and daily goals

#1: Set your BHAG

Make it bold, and maybe even a little scary. This goal should feel like you’re challenging yourself. Don’t set more than one in any given category of your life (e.g. career, health, relationships). You need to be prepared to fully channel your efforts towards this goal.

#2: Realistic, medium-term goals

Work backward. Identify 1-2 realistic, medium-term goals that, if achieved, will put you on a clear path to achieving your BHAG.

These are your basecamps on the way to the summit.

#3: Establish your daily goals

These are the smallest, but arguably most important goals that you will set. They are the foundation on which your larger goals will be built on.

Your daily goals will ensure consistent progress towards your BHAG. Here are a few tips for setting these goals:

• Keep them simple
• Get specific: indicate when you will do them and (if appropriate) how much time you will allocate to them
• Set 3-4 goals max per BHAG. While these goals are simple, it’s easy to set too many of them and overwhelm yourself.

Here are some examples

• I’ll go for a 30-minute walk first thing every morning
• I’ll write for 45 minutes every day after lunch
• I’ll drink a glass of water every morning as soon as I get out of bed

Track & Adjust

These shouldn’t be “set it and forget it” goals. Track your progress, particularly for your daily goals. Do you need to adjust your goals upwards? Downwards? Are you on track to achieve your realistic, medium-term goals?

Putting this into practice

Let’s return to my example from earlier and apply this framework.

• BHAG: Write a book in the next 8 months. This is really ambitious, but if I’m consistent I can definitely do it.
• Realistic, medium-term goals. Let’s assume I’m going to get to work on September 1. I want to finish the book by next June.
  • Complete outline of the book by October 1.
  • Complete 2 chapters every month between Nov and April
  • Edit chapters 1-3 by April 1
  • Edit chapters 4-6 by May 1
  • Edit chapters 7-10 by June 1. Ready for publishing!
• Daily goals
  • 60 minutes of focused writing in the AM, Monday-Friday
  • 60 minutes of focused writing in the PM, Monday-Friday

In summary

1. Set a Big Hairy Audacious Goal (BHAG)
2. Set realistic medium-term goals to enable your BHAGs
3. Set daily goals to ensure consistent inputs toward your medium-term goals
4. Track and adjust as needed

I hope this helps you achieve your goals!